Tips for Avoiding Self-Defeating Thoughts
by Deborah Kintner
All too often, people obstruct their own paths to success through self-defeating
and self-sabotaging thoughts, attitudes, and actions. The following represent some of the most
common thoughts people have that impede their abilities and motivations to take steps toward success.
1. "It would be terrible to be rejected or to have others disapprove
of what I say or do." - The truth is that no matter what a person does,
there is the possibility of disapproval from others. Consequently, you
might as well take steps which will bring you closer to what you are wanting
in life, rather than living for the approval of others.
2. "If someone criticizes me, it means there is something wrong with me."
- The criticism of another person simply means that they think differently
from you. Different does not mean wrong. Continue to do what is right
according to your own standards, not those of another.
3. "Other people are to blame for my problems." - Even though it is important
to acknowledge that the actions of others affect you and vice versa, you
remain responsible for your own actions. What you do is up to you, not
someone else."
4. "My worthiness depends on my achievements (or other specific measure)."
- A person's worthiness is not measured by a specific set of accomplishments.
Rather it arises from one's basic humanness and uniqueness.
5. "If I am too successful, people will expect too much of me and I will
eventually disappoint them." - This arises from the belief that success
is a specific destination, rather than the journey to get there. Remind
yourself that the real difference between winners and losers is not whether
a person fails. The real difference comes from being able to get up and
start again. As long as you are taking steps toward your goal, you are
on the journey to success.
About the author: Deborah
Kintner
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