Fear of Failure
By Deborah Kintner
One of the challenges faced by many people involves a need to cover all
contingencies before proceeding with an action. While, on the surface, this
may appear to reflect reasonable caution and planning, it actually can stall
a person to the point of getting stuck in the quagmire. Often this need
to ensure that all possibilities are projected and considered in advance
represents a fear of being able to handle unpredicted situations. Unfortunately,
while one is formulating every possible scenario, no progressive action
is taking place. The seemingly reasonable caution in the words, "What if…"
has created a roadblock to the actions which can lead to success.
First of all, it is important to realize that none of these possible scenarios
represent current reality. They are simply projections of possible occurrences.
Sadly, however, they can lead to a fear of taking action, lest some of these
events might actually occur. Zig Ziglar has described FEAR as False Events
Appearing Real. Consequently, when faced with fears, the first step in confronting
them consists of reminding oneself that such events have not occurred and
may never occur.
Secondly, rather than wallow in the possible difficulties, work on re-framing
your thoughts in more positive terms. Instead of thinking of a projected
event as a “catastrophe,” view it as a “challenge.”
Other positive terms you may utilize could include, “enigma,”
“ puzzle,” “mystery,” “opportunity,”
or “adventure.” In fact, even your physical sensations/emotions
may be re-labeled. For instance, to some, the sensations of agitation, sweating
palms, dry mouth, and fluttering in the stomach may be interpreted as “fear.”
However, those exact sensations could be labeled as “anticipation.”
Most people would much prefer anticipation rather than fear. However, they
fail to realize that the manner in which they label the experienced sensations
involves a choice. If you want to feel positive, choose the positive label.
Next, remind yourself that you have encountered difficult situations before
and survived them, maybe even benefited from them. Think about what skills
you used to get through tough times in the past and practice them. By polishing
the skills which assist you in counteracting challenges, you can shift your
mindset from a fearful “What if…” attitude to one of “So
what.., then what?” With such an attitude, you change your focus from
fearing the future to welcoming it with the knowledge that you possess the
capabilities to handle whatever occurs.
Finally, use mistakes and negative events as opportunities to learn. Consider
the case of Thomas Edison, who underwent several thousand trials before
finding the right combination for the filament for the incandescent light.
When questioned concerning his method for withstanding so much failure,
he replied, “I never considered any one of them a failure because
in each case I found out what didn’t work.” By not repeating
an action that did not work in this particular situation, he increased his
chances that he would eventually arrive at a successful culmination. You
can find similar success by examining events which have not worked well,
changing some of your actions, and evaluating the results. By doing so,
you are learning skills needed to ensure future success.
By reducing your need to cover every possible contingency and releasing
yourself from the need for perfection, you actually free yourself to take
the actions (and risks) needed to succeed. Rather than wallowing in the
mire of fear, you open yourself to the eventuality of flying with the eagles.
Soar on!
About the author:
Deborah Kintner
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